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Misty, The Mom Shamer

Newsflash!  Special needs moms are tired of hearing these.  "God knew what He was doing when they sent her to you."  Or how about "It takes a special person to do what you are doing."  We know you are saying these because you don't know what to say.  We get it.  Hell, I think we've said them a time or two.

We aren't super moms over here.

Look, we aren't super moms over here.  We are moms to kids with special needs and we do what we have

to.  We love our kids and need them to be as close to normal as possible.  Without the therapies or spending that extra time with them working on tasks, our life would be a bigger hell than it already is.

What would you see without the constant therapies?  More kids running from us like their butts are on fire.  More plop and drop tantrums that would make your three-nager look like a prince / princess.  Add quite a few "why the hell don't you understand me when I tell you what I want" frustrations with a side of come wipe my butt until I'm 23.

That's why we do it.  It's not because we are super moms.  And we just can't STAND the thought of these kids that we love so much depending on someone other than us when we are gone.  We NEED them to be okay.

What to say to a special needs mom.

Instead of saying those nails down the chalkboard / ear splitting words of kindness to a mother with a child with special needs, how about saying "You are doing a wonderful job."  "Here, let me help you."  or "What can I do to make your life easier?"  Or better yet, bring us a margarita.

See them for who they are ... people.

Although our kids are more work - just like anything else in the world - the more you work, the bigger reward.  The more our kids with special needs can do, the more we grab a little bit of sanity.  Also, the more they can do, the less likely you will spend time thinking of what to say and more time seeing them for what they really are . . . people.